sinclair_furie | Entries tagged with fanfic

I want somebody to write me Supreme Court fanfiction where Ginsburg and Scalia meet at Harvard and then have an affair that starts in the seventies and continues, on and off, until today . For material, see this lovely piece. A quote from the article:

Beyond the law, Ginsburg and Scalia seek each other out.
"I have always enjoyed Nino," Ginsburg said in an interview, echoing her comment at the hearing: "No matter how overworked and tired I feel, he can always say things that make me laugh. He can also say things I find provocative, even irritating."
For his part, Scalia says he likes his colleague "because she is an intelligent woman and a nice woman and a considerate woman — all the qualities that you like in a person."

Guys, she calls him Nino in court, too.♥

Speaking of things made of awesome, I would like to direct everybody's attention to the most wonderful thing I found today. Which is the community

mac_hearts_pc . In case you can't guess, it's a community dedicated to slashing the anthropomorphic Mac and PC of Apple's famed "Get a Mac" ads.
<333
Seriously. The ads are so adorable. I recommend you watch "Counselor", "Flashback" and "Goodwill." Justin Long (Mac) is pretty hot in the blue collared shirt. :)
Some adorable/awesome things I have found: (all of these are by

dysmorph )

Crossdressing wherein PC tries to get into Mac's pants. Not in a sexual way.
Overclocked wherein PC is bluescreened. :)
iKink, which is just generally awesome.
Shared Music Library, which is the cutest thing ever. OMG <3

They're more or less safe for work, some more suggestive than others.

Oh, and cute icons!

Current Mood: ecstatic
Current Music: The Decemberists - The Soldiering Life

In response to the LJ Strikethrough debacle:
Making up is Hard to Do (Fandom/LJ, NC-17) by

china_shop XD XD
READ IT NOW
IT'S AMAZING.

Current Mood: LOL!!11oneone1!
Current Music: Tapes 'n Tapes - Insistor

nhw pointed this out, and it's pretty cool and rather funny. Not realising the microphone is on, Bush and Blair have a conversation...
I found these two quotes incredibly amusing:

Bush: You’re leaving?
Blair: No, no, no not yet. On this trade thingy...

and

Bush: You see, the... thing is what they need to do is to get Syria, to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit and it’s over.

I find it amusing to be reminded that politicians are people. With a penchant for stating the obvious. Edit, again: Here's another version from BBC suggesting that Blair is knitting Bush sweaters.
Also! I watched the first episode of Stargate: Atlantis season three today!
For those of you who watch the show, let me just say how much I love Michael. He's the most awesome ever, and I truly believe that he and Teyla have this epic, star-crossed, angst-filled love ahead of them.
Edit:
But you know, in light of the last episode, John and Michael might have something going, too. Just saying. And

volari wrote this rather awesome piece which is just a bit slashy about it.

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Kasabian - I.D

Oh, the Doctor Who season finale broke my heart. Really. I felt slightly better but still rather weepy after this piece by

amanuensis1 which is just sweet and wonderful and SO VERY DOCTOR.
But my heart! It is in pieces, how sad.
Rest assured, Doctor deprived friends, you shall have access to my episodes and then your hearts will break too and we can be weepy together. (I'm talking to you, Crystal and Raina)

Current Mood: heartbroken

Remember the whole Lex Luthor and Clark Kent are so doing it thing? Well, here's a piece of fiction that takes another look at the situation. Only, it's not about Clark and Lex getting it on, but rather... um, Clark thinks he's pregnant. Lex knows that Clark is prettier than he is smart, but aren't delusions of male pregnancy overdoing it? So, I give you Adaptability by Pru. Go read it.
It's a mind-killing kind of funny.
In this excerpt, Clark and Lex are discussing how they've just moved in together. And then...

When Clark didn't answer, Lex said easily, "It's a big change, I know. If you'd like, you could have your own bedroom and we could slowly work up to--"

"I think I'm pregnant!" Clark blurted out.

" -- sharing a bed every what the fuck are you talking about, Clark?" Lex demanded.

Clark stared at his hands and looked terrified. "Pregnant," he said morosely.

Lex rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Clark," he started haltingly. "I -- I know your human health and reproduction teacher was a little preoccupied with seducing me and then plotting to have me killed, but I hope you're peripherally aware men cannot actually gestate."

Glaring at him in vehemently, Clark said, "Lex, I'm not joking."

"I'm not either," Lex insisted, deadly serious. He made a mental note to begin petitioning for public office, as it seemed apparent that the sex education curriculum in Kansas was abhorrent and the only way he'd be able to do anything about it was to strong-arm his way onto the local government

Alas. The internet is such a cool place sometimes.

Current Mood: tickled pink
Current Music: The Velvet Underground- Heroin

So, first we have fake gay news. Because real gay news is too depressing. Which is really, the most hilarious stuff ever. Some quotes for you:

Christian Meteorologists Declare War on Rainbows

Because rainbows are composed of curved spectrums of light that become visibile only when the sun’s light passes through prism-like raindrops during a rain shower, Climatologists for Christ are focusing their efforts on ending all forms of rain. When reporters questioned how the earth would survive without rainfall, Banger fired back, “The love of God will keep us moist!”

Conservatives Up in Arms Over "Bi-Curious George"

“Due to the heterosexist framing of thought present in most modern media throughout the past,” he continues, “the entendre laden, symbiotic nature of the tacit ‘companionship’ agreement between George and his unmarried, tightly-clad keeper in a cowboy hat has largely been able to fly under the radar."

Gay Couple Forced to Return Adopted Ethiopian Child – Didn’t Go With Drapes

"Walter and I have a lot of love to share and we really want to do that with a child of color. Just not this exact color. As you can see, Zahaddox’s complexion, though gorgeous, is ‘bisque’ or in some lights, ‘burnt umber.’ That just wasn’t going to work with our home’s color scheme.”

There's more. Lots more. Like why dinosaurs died out.

And then there is this piece of fanfiction from the Smallville Universe by some Lady Angel. The Fetish Drabbles. Which, thought they sound pornographic, are anything but. However, I believe they are sort of parodies of two pieces that are of rather questionable content, i.e. Easy Tonight and Fetish by a certain Jenn.
A wondrous example:

Luthors need to control their base instincts. Maybe he can take his mother's maiden name.
Luthors don't beg. What was his mom's maiden name again?
-- Lex in "Fetish" by Jenn

"Lex, what in the hell is this?"
Lex glanced at the paper lazily. His smile grew. "A change of name form."
"And why the hell," Lionel asked . . . too calmly. "Would you even want to change your name?"
Lex smirked. "Well, Dad, you know how Luthors don't beg or plead? How they control their baser instincts?"
"Yes." The word was bitten off. "So what?"
Smug, smug, completely satiated smile. "Clark turned eighteen last night."
"Fuck."
"Yeah. Well, several times actually."

Ah, love.

Ah, a third amusing thing. Would be another Smallville story by a certain

privatetentacle called The Stuff of Legend. Hugely amusing. Clark finds the truth in an eighties movie about unicorns and true love and... Tom Cruise's leather clad groin. Not at all expicit, just really really funny.

A little goblin with a knight’s visor buried his head in one of the farmwife’s mixing bowls and came up, face dripping with egg.
“Hmm, the world has been covered by a blanket of ice, a chill so intense it has frozen people where they stand; time itself,” Lex intoned, “is frozen. Yet the muffin batter is still a little too runny …”
“Muffin baking is an art, Lex,” Clark offered playfully. “Mine always turn out lumpy.”
“Always? You’re big into the muffin baking?”

Current Mood: :D

So,

stellabelle has the funniest H/D poem. Ron discovers Harry with Draco. And then. ahahahaha. A quote:

	"He's a coward, a cheat, and ugly to boot. 
	"He looks like a hideous premature newt." 
	"Yeah," said Harry, "but he's great in the sack." 
	Ron wheezed, "I think I'm having an asthma attack! 
	"Are you desperate? Crazy? Stupid? All three?" 
	Said Harry: "Probably, to a degree."

Some people are too brilliant for words.

Current Mood: AHHAHAHAH

So, remember how I'm convinced that Lex Luthor is Clark Kent's love slave? And very very gay, or probably bi with all those purple shirts and obsessive gazes at Clark...
I just read the funniest bit of fan-fiction by

evangelene . It does get slashy towards the middle, but anybody who's watched even a single episode of Smallville... read it now. It is possibly the most Out of Character fic in existence.
Here's how

tamalinn described it:

It's an AU. Martha's a drunk and Jonathan's her battered husband. Lionel is a loving father who never got over Lillian's death, and wishes he could just bring poor, shy Lex out of his shell. Lana... Lana... *bursts out laughing* I can't spoil it. You have to read Lana. Chloe's a cheerleader who has a tendency to contract VD. Pete and Whitney are twinks who are so, so in love.

( A quote for you. Go read it. Now. )

Current Mood: So Very Amused

From

snegurochka_lee we have the ridiculously funny turtle porn. Completely and totally worksafe, incidentally.
Also, from

amaneunsis1, we learn what our good friend Snape has been doing post-HBP. For a moment, imagine Snape as a Dungeon Master... From the comments:

sinick:
"No, you may not cast Petrificus on the dragon. ...Why? Because someone of your feeble intellect couldn't Petrify a pixie. One more word out of you and I'll hex you mouthless. Roll the blasted dice while you still have hands."

soawen:
"A freak accident activates a hidden portal, and you are immediately transferred to the terrasques' home dimensi- Mr. Potter, do you presume to tell me you are a specialist in terrasques? No? Then, as I said, you now stand in the terrasques' home dimension. Everyone roll initiative."

Finally, you should all read this fanfic by

zionsstarfish. Slash, but not too obviously so. Too funny for words. READ IT! NOW!
[giggles madly and fangirls]

Current Mood: -omg- squee!
Current Music: The Faint - Total Job

Neverwhere Icons!
This is why I want a paid account. This.
Funny HP Comic. Adult, but not in the way you'd think. :D Kudos to Fahad for finding it.
*edit* Er, that's Ginny, not Ron. Funnier if its Ron, but still very funny.
And ten points to anyone who notices what's wrong with the BT Online website. Hint- Highlight it. Bonus points to those who recognize my evil influence, and Caroline's(

thesexthatshops) evil influence by proxy.

For Joy: The Draco Trilogy. By

epicyclical .
As Aja (

bookshop ) said in this fascinating essay:
The Draco Trilogy did not invent fanon!Draco, but its tremendous fame popularized him and gave him his most recognizable traits--sex and snark. Here Draco is a redeemed figure whose relationship with Harry Potter is at times almost symbiotic. The story itself draws massive popularity from the underlying H/D subtext, despite its multiplicity of het pairings, and is probably singlehandedly responsible for the fact that most Draco fans are also H/D shippers.
Also highly amusing (but slash) are Underwater Light and Something Impossible. And who can forget

potterstinks ? Part of a now finished rpg, but SO MUCH FUN anyway.

Some incredibly funny links to slash related stuff.

( Do you want to be amused? )

The only thing funnier than the thought of Legolas/Gimli slash is the fact that it actually exists. Well, now we know what they were doing in those Glittering Caves.
-Oh Legolas, you are so beautiful! You are everything I want to be but can't becuase the Aule, our idiot creator, should have let Eru do the work!
-Stop that, Gimli. Your beard tickles.
(I made that up, by the way. I haven't been able to bring myself to read any of the fanfics)
Speaking of Tolkein, here is the Tolkein Sarcasm Page and Phallic Symbolism in LOTR.
Also from pointlesswasteoftime.com are 8 Things You Didn't Want to Know about LOTR and Star Wars Episode IV as it should have been.
Funny, but offensive, I suppose, and rather... green. Especially the last two links. If you're looking for some bathroom humor or just a good laugh browse around the site and click whatever strikes your fancy. A quote from their Episode III spoilers: